vOice of heaRt

It is a surprise when things that we don't expect go the way it is. And for whether good or bad, we decide. I have learnt to be 'Don't Expect'. So I can have the 'surprise' more often! I can only expect things from myself but not from anyone else. No one suppose to please us, so don't expect.

When I am so tired of being alone, I cried. Crying became a way of releasing my hardness. Feel relief after each burst. 


It is sad, when I thought it is all so wonderful then one strike came and made me realize that I am not in the eyes' sight. The eyes I always looking lovingly. The eyes that brighten my days. The eyes that see me through all the time. But I know I am not in there. 


There I start falling, and realize how much I love the angel. The angel that I thought I own him all. I am selfish of having that thought. God loves me so much of sharing him bits to myself, and then I who is so thoughtless wanted him all. And I finally realized now. 


The good thing is, God always open another window for us when He closed one. He didn't actually closed mine, just making me realizing that the window has too much of circulates to take care of. I should be bear in mind that there is always one there open for me. I am not alone, I have Him, whom has been there supporting me and give me strengths. The true friendship which I could never found in any other way and it is so true I am not alone. God is there.


Loneliness would not kill us when we know the way back to God's arm. An open arm which always available for us. Irreplaceable. 

SL.com

Just thinking is that possible that you'll love me for a thousand year? I will say yes when you ask me this. Just one step closer to me, you can see me heart and all.

No one can actually tell us how much he/she loves us. This is all about feeling.. When you can't see how much you mean to me or how much I have loved you, do you think I can see or feel? But wasn't that means what true love is? Loving someone without thinking how much we mean to them. That is how I feel all along.

The world looks so wonderful every time you come to my mind and thoughts. It has become such a joy to have you just in thought and of cause it is a blessing to have you next to me so close to me. We don't have to count how long will that be, for me it is as long as God meant for us. A thousand years and a thousand more. Just one step closer. Nice one.

SL.com

It's been a year since i last blog. Life is just too many to take care about was't it. Or that can sounds a silly excuse of being lazy to write. Well. Steppig into a new stage. New thoughts rolling in and new way begin. That is life. I keep moving and found stairs on the way to go up further. When I am at a new stage, minds get wider automatically. I see more and am happier. Today i realize that we don't live for anyone and nobodynis living for us neither. All must do is love yourself more and then love others. Everyday is a lovely day. I want to start my day with that thought from now on and be thankful. I am happy now, cause i know i found my true love. With this in my heart no loneliness is coming about. Thanks babe. One of the reason i want to start again my blog habit is I want people who cares about me i am doing well when they read this. I am just thinking if God has called me back to him because he loves me so much, at least my loves one would know I am happy with what i have owned and lived for. Feeling so close to God tonight. Lots of loves. Thank you God for assuring who I am. Sarah with ❤❤

Today is not my day i guess. I don't know. I'm not sure. I'm feeling kinda lost. I don't know where to go. Small chick!


One of the life's stage? Har! There you are! See how i comfort myself. It is lame. I should stop that may be. And really look into what i really want for my life. Break it!


I have no friend here. I mean really friends that can hang out and chit chat like nobody business. I am a lone ranger here. This make me feel really really SUCKS!!!! oops! rude girl!


My life circle just like a primary school student timetable. I think theirs are even more better and fantasy than mine. Mine? --> sleep, wake up, work, eat, finish work, FB , sleep, wake up, work, eat, finish work, FB, sleep, wake up and so and so and so. Terrible!


Boring. Boring. Really Boring. The bores have pushed me to the stage that i have never thought of. It is so bad. I want life! I want my life! I am stuck now. I am so useless. I got no plan. I am a basket. Full of emptiness. 


So what should I do? The only thing i can think of now is Pray. I'll do it until i find my way out of it. 

I remember i told u before, the moment i don't like the most is when I need to say bye and wave to you...that is the beginning of my loneliness. I feel bad here. I only need you and my family. How am i suppose to overcome it? I know if i want a better tomorrow i might need to face this. But i have no idea why am I getting more n more pampering to my family. I love them so much.

Now i am here alone again. I needs my those friends who can be crazy with me always. They are all not here.Arghhh~~~!!!

I think i need a renewal of my job. That day heard from Michelle that her mum told her she should quit the job from the day she drag herself to work. This is what I am feeling now. Ya, I know I am not that good enough in what I am doing now. But I really want to be somebody after the 2 years. I want to explore more things. I believe my learning skills. God, please open up that window for me. You know I can.

Papa mama I miss you......

OMG!
When someone telling u off about something u never do, the feeling really sucks! I hate it. And it really spoiled my mood! IDIOT!
I never do that and y must she said that i deserve the returns of punishment? It is really senseless! And don't simply judge my God will always give punishment when I believe my God will never punish but to show the lesson in His mercy way.

I want to RUN! This circle is too small. I want to raise my wings. 

Life is about moving moving and moving wasn't it?
Yea.. I am not kind of that wanted to just stay @ 1 place..ever n ever..
I want to move! I am looking forward NEW! Always!

Time is flying..I have been working nearly 11months @ Malacca..a sweet place thou. Life here wasn't as relax as i have thought. But of course it is meaningful. full of work. =) Stress has now became my friend. It comes and goes. I am learning together with it. Growing with it as well. Well, stress doesn't seems to be just only negative. It depends how we look about it. I know i can't hate it. I can only play with it so that i live better. =) really??
That is how i live my life now. Especially this stressful working life. It is so unfortunately that we need to live with unfairness. I really hate that.
'Life is unfair' what kind of statement is that??Idiot!!

MOving.
God has opened another window for me. Asking me do i want to jump out. Yea!I am ready to jump out. Challenge is there to keep me moving. It comes to time that i couldn't stand @ the same place anymore. I know. & God knows. That is why comes a new light from a newly opened window.